I have mixed feelings about these criticisms aimed at the AER.
First of all, so what if soldiers are required to repay loans? This is really an issue? We may be living in a country with a pro-collectivist mindset at the moment, but are we really going to vilify lenders for insisting borrowers pay back loans?
As for strong-arming soldiers to contribute--when I served in the US Army from 1988-1992, we were "required" to give to United Way, which is arguably corrupt. At least AER is Army-based and supposedly helps families. At work in the school district this year, I was "expected" to give to United Way, who donates about 69 cents of every donated dollar. I was one of the few who didn't fold.
As for Army Emergency Relief--when I got married, I outranked my husband. I soon ETS'd out of the service to raise our son at home, and suddenly realized I had gone from being Sergeant with the limited authority that title affords, to being just a dependent spouse, with no authority at all. I needed my husband's signature on all paperwork, his permission for anything I wanted to accomplish on post (from checking out yard tools in order to maintain quarters, to checking out books from the post library, to using credit at the px.That was tough enough to transition to, but the real slap in the face came from organizations, like AER, that are marketed as entities that help families.
Several times, my husband left me and the kids, took my name off the bank account, and left me without any money. I had the water and electricity turned off. I begged the utility companies to work with me and allow me to make smaller payments. They would not.
I pleaded with the CO to tell my husband to pay the bills. I also showed him bruises covering my body, begging him to make my husband go to counseling. I was told he was unable to help me. In fact, if I "continued to raise these issues," I would be sent home--this was in both Tennessee and Vicenza, Italy. In retrospect, I should have just gone, but I ignorantly tried my best to keep my family together.
So I went to the Army Emergency Relief office to request money for utilities, and was told I needed my husband's signature. We were being abused, abandoned, and neglected, yet I was to get his signature, admitting he didn't pay the bills? As if.
When he was found "guilty of endangering a child" by a hospital panel after I reported an incident at the Fort Campbell emergency room, I attended recommended family counseling. He didn't. After the choking incident that finally ended the marriage, we were required to speak to a counselor to deal with the "situation calmly." This meeting consisted of the counselor unethically warning me not to file charges against my husband, as he would have to turn in his weapon and would lose his job, thereby "effectively shooting myself in the foot."
Thank God for my parents, without whom I would never have made it. There was certainly nobody associated with city or the military willing to help us. The only kindness and help I received for 4 years of active duty and 10 years of marriage to an active duty soldier came from my church. Members fixed my roof for free when it caved in and the pastor slipped a $20 in my hand a couple times as I shook his hand after morning services.
I hope things have improved for military spouses over the past twenty years. I prefer being the soldier.
CE
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